Last month in March for Endometriosis Awareness Month, I invited my friend Jasmine to share her story with the disease. This month, she is back to share her ongoing journey through infertility:
It’s Canadian/National Infertility Awareness Week (#CIAW/#NIAW) and in the spirit of transparency and the want to raise awareness and normalcy around the topic, I am going to share my story.
Endometriosis Diagnosis
My husband and I started trying to conceive in 2015. After a few years of trying, we sought medical support. I was referred to a gynecologist, and then came all the tests – it was highly suspected that I had endometriosis. Upon a laparoscopic surgery, it was concluded that I have stage 4 endometriosis. I had multiple cysts on both ovaries, and multiple thick adhesions on my reproductive system, bladder, and bowels. It was so severe that it completely collapsed one of my Fallopian tubes – reducing our already low chances of conceiving by half.
After laparoscopic surgery to diagnose stage 4 endometriosis
IVF Journey
We were referred to a fertility specialist – he was supportive and honest, laid out all our options, and it seemed that IVF would be our best chance. In the summer of 2019, we started our IVF journey… it was a roller coaster. My body was receptive to the hormones and they were able to retrieve 18 eggs, however over the next few days, we saw that number drop, from 18 to 8, to 6, and then to 2. Ultimately, we got two mature embryos. We were still very optimistic at this time – we hoped that this would be our first and second child, and we would be done.
Postponed Transfers
We were set to do a fresh transfer, however I developed OHSS (ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome) after our egg retrieval and our transfer got postponed. Once I was well again, we were set to do a frozen transfer. I started up on the hormones needed and when I went in for my ultrasound that determines if I’m ready for transfer and it appeared that my uterine fibroid had grown and my transfer got postponed, again. We did a ‘mock’ transfer to see if they could maneuver around the fibroid, which they could. I started up hormones again for our first transfer. Unfortunately, it did not take (that was super disappointing), but we still had one more. We gave ourselves a couple months before we tried with our last embryo.
Before embryo transfer for IVF
Early Miscarriage
We transferred, and then days later we got THE phone call. We were told that it was positive – with an asterisks. I was pregnant enough to qualify as pregnant, but I could tell that it was not good news – our HCG levels were very low. I was optimistic that maybe our levels could rise, maybe our little embryo could hold on. This was the closest to pregnant we had ever been. Over the next few days, we had what was called a ‘chemical pregnancy’, an early miscarriage that occurs in the first five weeks of pregnancy. We were devastated, we grieved. We had come so close and that was our last embryo. There’s a quote that really resonated with me at this time by David Platt: “There’s a unique pain that comes from preparing a place in your heart for a child that never comes.”
The embryo itself
Next Steps
We were going to get ready for our second as COVID-19 hit, so when the world calms down, we will get ready to try again. Infertility is very isolating and dehumanizing. I am almost the only cousin in my family without a child. It does not help that I work in Education, and I’m asked all the time (by parents and children) when I am going to have kids. I want to adopt all the children who live in less than ideal circumstances. My answer is always “maybe, someday”. Nobody prepares you for this – the ups and downs – but I know my day will come and it will all have been worth it.
1 in 6 Canadian couples experience infertility. You can learn more about infertility at fertilitymatters.ca.
Jasmine will periodically share updates on her infertility journey in future posts on this blog. Follow me on Instagram &/or Facebook for updates on new blogs – including any on Jasmine’s journey.
If you have a topic related to pre-pregnancy, pregnancy, babies, postpartum, parenthood, or similar that you would like to write about and share with others, I welcome you to contact me to write a guest blog! I’d love to discuss how we can enrich our greater community together! 🙂
